No Need for Perfection

I have just started to read a romance novel by Luanne Rice called "Home Fires."  In the story the woman's daughter died at the age of four and her husband cheated on her.  The grief that is described is aching.  She spends time with the last drawing her daughter did for her, on the morning she passed away.  She smells the crayon and the paper, she remembers when her daughter gave it to her, she retreats into her memory.

I can't imagine losing my son.  He has filled an empty spot in me that I didn't even know was there.  Listening to him make funny noises as he is playing right now just makes my heart swell.

I am, by nature, a lazy person.  I love to do nothing.  When there is a lot to do, I have to build up the energy to get it done.  When I knew I was having a baby, I was worried that I would feel this way about all of the work that goes into taking care of a child.  Well, no need to worry, because while it does take energy, it feels amazing.  It is just a natural thing to do.  I want to make sure he has a clean bum.  I want him to have all clean clothes.  I want to make sure he is fed.  It is a pleasure.  Granted, when nap time was broken, these things became a little more difficult, but that was just for a little while.

You know, I wish I could do a snapshot of how I feel in my life right now.  I really am madly in love with R and my son.  I love my home.  I am content in a way I never thought possible.  Things are not perfect, but are they ever?  I don't need perfection.  I need what I have right now.  This is what was brought to mind as I am reading the story of the woman who has lost so much.  It is important to be mindful of the moment, because everything can change in a heartbeat.