Grieving

Grief is such a strange thing.  My loss is my cat of 14 years.  One Wednesday, the day of his passing, I had many big cries.  Yesterday I was weepy through-out the day.  Today I feel a loss, I keep thinking I see him and I keep watching for him when I am walking up and down the stairs.

Everyday at 9:45 am, I give CJ his insulin shot.  That last two mornings, my cell alarm has gone off to remind me and my heart has squashed.  This morning I turned off the alarm.

After I eat my cereal in the morning, I always give CJ my bowl.  Only after he has finished his turn, is B allowed to lick the bowl.  Yesterday morning, I sat down, ate my cereal and put my bowl down on the floor.  B went to lick the bowl and I almost stopped him, to let CJ go first.  Squashed heart again.

It is these habitual things that are causing the most heart squashing.

There is definetly an empty space in our house, where CJ used to be.  We all feel it.  It is a heavy empty spot now.