Tis the Season

Christmas has been wonderful.  It isn't finished yet, though.  One more Christmas dinner tonight.

It was our son's first Christmas.  He is only 8 months old, so he thought the lights were cool and he really enjoyed tearing the paper off of the first 3 presents.  Other than that, he didn't really seem to into it.  Next year will be a different story, I am sure.  I found a big difference in myself though.  I was more excited and wanted to play with and set up all of his new toys.  It was like the child inside of me blossomed even more.

We also hosted our first big turkey dinner.  It was a marathon event, starting two weeks before with planning.  My husband was the head chef.  Cooking, shopping and co-ordinating.  He did a fabulous job.  Our meal was delicious and we didn't forget anything.  R did burn his finger though.  He now has a 1" by 0.5" blister on his middle finger.

As with a lot of family events, we also had some drama.  One family member was absolutely miserable and tarnished the evening.  She was selfish, negative and sat at the table scowling and not eating.  It was very hard not to say anything to her because if we did, she would want to leave, which would mean someone would have to take her home.  The next day my heart ached all day.  I have been working on letting it go, but think I will have to say something, once I am no longer emotionally charged.

This morning I have been programming Chase's "My Pal Scout" toy.  Very cool.  I can't wait to play with it (hahahahahahahahaha).  Really, are the toys for him, or us?

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Granny Christmas Gift Project

I have made DVD's for the grandparents of my videos over the last 8 months of my son's little life.  It has been a great Christmas project.  I have had to watch a lot of baby movies, all of them actually.  Then I even did some intentional video recording to show a "day in the life of Chase".   It starts with me getting him first thing in the morning, showing his great big "good morning Mama" smile I get everyday.  It ends with me breastfeeding him in the rocking chair and putting him in his bed.

Now I am making DVD cases out of paper.  I found the coolest little website showing how to make one out of a normal piece of paper.

Great little project!

http://www.instructables.com/id/CD-Case-from-normal-printer-paper./#step1

Oh Sleep, Where Art Thou?

Why can't I fall to sleep?

Or really, more accurately, why does it take so long for me to fall to sleep?  I lay in bed and try all of the tricks I have ever been taught to fall to sleep.  Lately, I have been putting off going to bed because if I go to bed super late, I seem to fall asleep right away.  The only fall back is less sleep.  Its not really an answer at all, but it seems better than just laying there.

Oh, do I miss the feeling of crawling into bed, feeling cozy and shutting my eyes to instantly pass into the world of peace and rest.

Festive Decorating

I love Christmas!

Now my tree is up and both my buffet and my mantel are decorated.  This year I have gone for the unbreakable tree.  All of my decorations that are unbreakable are on the tree and the rest are safely still in the boxes.  This is "just in case" my monkey or someone else's little monkey, accidentally pull the tree down.  I think it looks good.  It was fun going through the decorations with that new perspective. 

All of the red and white pillows on the tree are from my Aunty Mary Ellen.  Every year, during my childhood and teen years, she cross stitched a little christmas pillow.  They were different each year.  This year, I received one for my son in the mail.  It made me quite emotional.  I never expected her to do it for the grandbabies too...that's a lot of pillows to stitch!  The pillow she made for my monkey has the Olympic mitten, Believe and his name... very cute.

The picture of my mantel didn't look very good, so I am not posting it, but here is the buffet.

Merry Christmas World!!!

Dark, Ugly Thing

Cancer seems like such a dark and hideous thing.  It would be healthier to think of it as just a name assigned to malfunctioning cells.  Something that has many different shapes and forms, with many outcomes, lots of them positive.  But, still, I find it dark and ugly.

I know people who have concurred cancer, people who live with cancer, people who are dying from cancer and people who have died from cancer.  When people battle and get better, it seems it could be positive.  But it doesn't feel that way.  For the people who live with cancer, I wonder if they feel that word is attached to them, like the cancer itself.  A label stuck there, kept secret from strangers.  A label that causes some people to feel sympathy, some people to act strange and other people to pull away.

Right now my heart aches because of cancer.  My Aunt is very sick with it and has been "dying" for the last three years.  She isn't surviving cancer, she isn't living with cancer, she is dying from it.  The doctors told her three years ago that, with chemo, she would have six months to a year.  She did the treatment and suffered through its consequences.  I wonder, if the doctors did not give her a timeline, if she would have lived with the cancer instead.  She has been so sick and her family has struggled with the lengthening time of loss. A loss of how and who she used to be and the future loss of her life.

Why.  Why did the doctors give her an expiry date?  Would her quality of life over the last three years have been different without this big, looming, "you should be dead" thing over her head and in the hearts of her family.  Why did the treatment lengthen her life so long?  Can it be too long?  Is it wrong to wish her to be at peace and not suffering anymore?

Sometimes I wonder if what I am feeling is anger, but I think not.  I think I am sad.  I am sad for her, I am sad for those that help care for her, I am sad for her sons and grandchildren, I am sad for everyone who's hearts and souls are a little more tarnished with this dying from cancer.  This ugly dark thing.

What do you think?  Am I wrong for having these thoughts?  How do you feel about it?  What are your thoughts on this disease and its impact?

Happy Halloween - Cheerful Pumpkin Tower

This was soooooo much fun.  I got the idea off of a pumpkin carving competition on TV.  I don't think I would win any awards, but I think its pretty cute.  Not really all that scary, it has more of a cheerful vibe to it.

My pumpkin tower!!

Oh the Joys of the Jolly Jumper!!