1st Hair Cut

Who knew a hair cut could be such a big deal?

I took Chase for his first hair cut on Wednesday.  We went to a kid's salon, where the chairs are special vehicles and there are TV screens at every mirror.  Chase sat in Thomas the train.  They put a movie in and started cutting.  He was somewhat oblivious to the cutting, watching the TV and marveling at his Grandma and I.  We were being a gooey and mushy, because he was getting his first hair cut.  Grandma was playing the role of the paparazzi, taking all kinds of photos and videos.

My little guy looked very handsome with his new hairdo.  The stylist even put some gel in!!

Before and After

 
I never would have guessed that I could be so emotional over something as simple as a haircut.   It was a right of passage for Chase.  Another milestone in his little life.

Cheese!

Chase smiled for the camera for the first time.  Oh, we have captured him smiling, but that's not the same.  This time he saw I had the camera, crawled over, got as close as possible, waited until it was pointed at him and then smiled, this great big beautiful smile.

Here he is crawling over to me

Cheese!

Isn't that one of the most beautiful, precious, sincere smiles ever?

When did you last play?

Can you remember a time when you let go of everything and just played?

Watching my son play is like magic.  He just gets lost in his own little world.  Today I sat out of view and peeked in on him.  Each time he was deeply involved in something grande.  I have noticed that when I am in the room, he is super conscious of where I am and what I am doing, as though I am a distraction.  When I moved around the corner to the diningroom and spied on him, it was a completely different story.

Since he is nearly 10 months old, it is fascinating to think of his little imagination.  Is he exploring?  Is he imagining something?  What is happening in his little brain?

So, I learn from Chase.  I learn to live in the now.  I learn to pay attention to the moment.  I learn the value of letting go and playing.

Crawling

My son is crawling now.  He has been on the move for over a week now.  It is amazing watching him explore and discover new things.  All the tiny little specks of something on the floor, the bottom of the high chair, the heat register, the springy door stop. As he crawls, every fourth stride, his little right leg pops out for some added boost.  When he is trying to go fast, this sends him off to sideways, like a crab.

Chase, crawling

It also funny watching him decide that he is quite ready for food.  He sits where ever he is and vocalizes.  If his food isn't quite ready, he will make his way around the island to be right by my feet.  He looks up to me and hollers.  I translate it to, "where's my food, woman!"  Then when my charming little man is finished, he says "all done", but it sounds more like "aiy dun". 

Oh, I'm a proud Mama.

Trust

I did it...I made the time to journal, and you know what came out of it?  The emptying of my mind, freeing of my thoughts, purging, brought forth that I need to change my thinking.  I need a new mantra.  The way for me to break through this barrier of my mind I need to apply some elbow grease and change my thought patterns.

Original thoughts:  "No, I want to be home with my baby!!" or "What am I doing, starting a new business now?"

New pattern: Trust

One word, so simple.  Trust that I can do this.  Trust that I will make sure that my child is well taken care of.  Trust that my good business sense will translate to a success.  Trust.

So, when the negative or resistant thoughts enter my mind, I will simple take a breath and say "trust".

Do you have a mantra?  

Change is a Comin'

My son is 9 months old now.  I am planning for when my maternity leave is over, in 3 months.  My logical self says that this should be exciting.  New times, new adventures...  My mommy self says, noooooooooooo, I don't want this wonderful utopia of mommydom to end.  My creative self says, get in your studio and paint woman!  My business self says that my idea is completely viable and I should go for it.  My true Shelley self is just plain nervous.  I think I can feel that I am following the right path, but am I?  I supposed I won't know until I try.

I am planning to start a new business, offering personal/life coaching to individuals and groups.  I want to work with a local society that trains, provides financial support and continuing business support for nearly one year.  This program will be full time schooling for nearly 3 months.  I have to apply and jump through a few different series of hoops in order to get accepted.  I have to be truly committed to making this change before I will be successful at making it.

I also have to find a daycare for my son.  This is scary because someone else will be caring for him the majority of the time.  It will be good for his development, though.  Especially socially.  We don't get very much social time with other children right now.  Daycare is quite expensive, so this is an additional financial commitment to making a change.

So...I feel nervous and uncertain.  I want to feel excited and empowered.  What I need to work on is how to get from how I feel now, to how I want to feel.  As I commented on someone else's blog this morning...time to get out the journal.

When you have a barrier of the mind to work through, what do you do?